This or Something Better
/There’s something to be said for the guidance of the Universe.
In 2017 I read The Secret for the first time, about a decade after it came out and the world went crazy learning about the Law of Attraction. I wish I could remember exactly how the book came into my life, but it seems like it just appeared on my book shelf one day. (AKA I likely bought it during one of my many book hauls at yard sales and library book sales.)
The day I read it, I had no idea what a profound effect this book would have on my life.
At the time, I was working in a dream job. I was working for a local entrepreneur helping brands to bring products to Amazon, which meant that I got to travel all over the county presenting to and learning about different brands, spend hours each week deep diving into Amazon policies and programs, working in an office I loved with remote work whenever I needed, and working with a team and business owner I truly admired.
The day I got fired, about 9 months after I read The Secret, I’d been in the middle of going through B-School with Marie Forleo to learn how to run a business online and I’d just been approved for my first business loan to start a private label business on Amazon.
I went home the day my boss told me to return my work laptop to the office and stop doing work for her and spent all night untangling my personal life from a company I had been giving my all to for almost two years.
At 7am the next day (after staying up all night) I went into my office and cleared out my space. I said goodbye to the modern electronics, my first Mac computer, the personal development books my boss had on the shelf that we shared a love for devouring, dissecting and implementing in our lives, and goodbye to a woman I thought would be a lifelong friend.
As I walked the mile home from the office, a sense of calm came over me.
I had cried off and on all night, out of shock, anger and confusion. And I ‘d written a letter the week prior to my boss about the situation in the office before I went home for Mother’s Day and had a few days off. I had done what I thought was right — put my feelings out there, then taken a step back to let us both take a breath and figure out how to move forward when we were both clearly hurting from lack of clarity professionally.
When I came back to work, my boss had become a different person from the woman I had grown to love as a friend.
Everything fell apart.
So walking home, even though I was confused and overwhelmed and I had NO idea how I was going to get back on my feet when I had less than $1,000 in savings, I knew I had done everything I could.
I tried to speak from my heart, I said goodbye to a client I had brought into the company who I had developed a good relationship with, and I left everything - my company credit card, my precious laptop, and anything that could be considered company property behind.
Even after a night without sleep, I couldn’t sleep when I got home. All I could think was HOW am I going to recover from this? How am I going to get back on my feet? How am I going to make enough money to pay my bills? I had moved 6 months early into an apartment with a rent that was almost double the rent of my last place and I had no idea what was going to happen.
Then I remembered The Secret.
I was sitting on my back porch, listening to the birds go about their day and watching the squirrels host a house party in my favorite tree when the thought crossed my mind energy flows where attention goes.
I knew in that moment that if I focused on the stress, lack and worry of my situation, it would only get worse.
So I made a video. I posted it on my Facebook page and told my friends and community that as shocked as I was to have lost my job - a job I absolutely loved and that everyone in our (my former boss & my) circle KNEW I loved - I knew in my heart that everything would work out as it should. And PS, if anyone needed help with their business my schedule was clear!
It was so hard for me to share because I knew people would be just as confused as I was. I had risen in my community to a leadership position with my former boss and we’d had big plans for expanding the company. So to go from happily employed and Chief Operating Officer to asking for help on Facebook was like eating a big ol’ slice of humble pie. In public.
But I did it. Instead of struggling alone and focusing on that struggle, I reached out to my network and basically said, “Hey! I just fell on my face professionally when the rug got pulled out from underneath me. I know it’s a shock, but I promise I’m still worth your time and investment if you give me a chance. And P.S. I need work.” And then I let it go. Just like on my tired, sweaty walk home earlier that morning I let the calm wash over me and accepted that I took the next step that felt right - sharing my raw emotions with the world - and gave it up to the Universe.
Something beautiful happened.
All the relationships that I had been nourishing for the last few years in my community paid off. People started messaging me on Facebook, and via text to see if I was OK. To give me opportunities to work. And some even offered to outright send me money to help!
I didn’t want free money, but I did want to work. So I started helping entrepreneurs with anything I could - website design, email marketing, copywriting, editing, organizing, systemizing, running events, and finding clarity — that was a superpower I didn’t even know I had until I started working with lots of different types of people.
And as a bonus? My former boss sent me an email to pick up my final check which included the time off I hadn’t taken yet. It would be a check over $1,000 so my rent was covered for the first month within a few hours of my giving my problems up to the Universe.
It was spooky. I knew I was onto something.
By August, 3 months after I got fired, I’d had enough clients to sustain myself month-to-month AND I’d been able to fulfill not one, but two lifelong dreams. I went to bartending school to learn the basics of making drinks so I could work events and I started working as a barista. Not only did I get to work at my favorite coffeeshop, but I also got to work in my favorite farmer’s market and talk to the community every single shift.
I followed my joy and my curiosity to each new opportunity and my life was becoming better every day.
I was in control of my time and responsibilities and it felt amazing — but I wanted more. And that was hard for me. At first, I felt ungrateful realizing that I had a life many people would dream of, but that it wasn’t “enough.”
Don’t get me wrong, I was already practicing daily gratitude at that point and was so so thankful for all the blessings in my life.
But I also knew I had more in me than writing email newsletters and serving coffee. Even if I enjoyed what I was doing, in my heart that little voice of intuition said keep pushing.
On my birthday, I told the Universe that I wanted to keep working like I was - at the coffee shop and in control of my time - and that I wanted to land a client who would pay all my bills. I thought about it, and how much stress that would take off of my plate, and then let it go.
One week later I was introduced to the man who would become a mentor and client for the next year and a half - and he was willing to pay me a monthly retainer that paid all my bills.
What I mean is, this monthly retainer would pay all my bills to the penny.
I told the Universe EXACTLY how much money I would need each month to feel comfortable and pay everything, and the Universe delivered.
This man and I didn’t have anything in common in our community. We didn’t live in the same area, or run in the same circles. He was more than 20 years older than me so neither our friends nor our colleagues knew each other. And when we met, he wasn’t interviewing me. We both just happened to be in the same place at the same time, I mentioned pivot tables on Excel spreadsheets and his curiosity was peaked.
A few hours later, he hired me.
A few weeks later, my monthly bills were no longer a source of stress. Thanks Universe…
Fast forward to almost a year later, a few months before my contract with him would end (unbeknownst to me) and it was the end of June. I’d been working on a few projects in the last year and knew I was an entrepreneur at heart. A multipassionate entrepreneur to be specific, a term I’d learned from Marie Forleo back in 2017, shortly after The Secret and before I dove into her signature program, B-School.
Even though I had an entrepreneurial spirit, I knew that I didn't want my business to be front and center in my life for a long time. I wanted it to grow slowly, and naturally, and maybe even without income for the first couple of years. I know it sounds backwards, but my focus has always been on wanting to build a community of incredible women who support each other and are proud of the dream lives they’ve created.
I wanted to create a safe space for learning and growth, and to help millions of women find their voices. I knew I wanted it to make money eventually, but I didn’t want to start there. I wanted it to grow from passion, love and authenticity before my business ever had to make money to sustain my life.
I also wanted to find a full-time job that gave me the flexibility of working from home (most or all of the time) that I was truly passionate about.
As soon as I got clear on what I wanted, I let the Universe know during meditation one morning (after the first few divine deliveries from the Universe, I’d been practicing my manifestation power) and you might be able to guess what I did next — I let it go.
That afternoon, I saw that Marie Forleo was hiring.
THE Marie Forleo. The one that had been in the midst of it all. The one who I deeply admired and shared with EVERYONE. The one who’s programs - both B-School and by then the Copy Cure too - I’d been through. The first person who seemed to really “get” me and my multipassionate nature.
So I applied on July 5th. They said it could take a while to get back to me, so I waited patiently. On August 5th, I gave up. I told my gram I guess I just wasn’t the best fit.
I was disappointed of course, but I also knew that there were likely hundreds of applications and I had done my absolute BEST to be my most authentic self. They’d asked tough questions and I gave it my all, so I let it go. If the opportunity was right, I knew the right thing would come along eventually.
Two days later on my birthday, I got the email saying I’d been selected for the next round of applying.
Thanks Universe!
Ironically, I didn’t even SEE the email until almost a week later because I’d been on a tech break for my birthday!
I completed the next set of questions and sent them off, and this time they said it would take up to two weeks to get back to me. It was a Thursday afternoon when I sent them (right before the deadline, yeesh!) and two weeks and one day later on a Friday at lunch I sat with my mentor in Barnes & Noble and told her that I hadn’t been selected for round 3.
I was disappointed again, but still, I KNEW in my BONES that the next right step would show up exactly when it was supposed to. I also knew the Universe was fully supporting me as long as I continued to show up and follow the joy. I’d seen a workshop with another one of my virtual mentors - Gabby Bernstein - just a few days before and she talked about the manifesting power of feeling good and a mantra I’ve since adapted:
“This or something better.”
I love this, because it’s so simple to remember and recite. So that day sitting with my mentor, I said “This or something better,” about the job. I wanted it more than anything in my life up until that point, but I trusted the Universe and had done the best I could.
Two hours later I was invited to interview.
At that point, as you can probably imagine, I’d blown my own mind with how quick the Universe would deliver when I stopped working so hard to get what I wanted. It was nuts!
And a few weeks later I started working my first real dream job. For someone larger than life, who’d created a business as big as I wanted to and who’d interviewed many of my teachers - Gabby, Kris Carr, Kate Northrup, Elizabeth Gilbert, and so many more incredible people. And that’s where I’ve been for the last 9 months!
Ever since, I’ve been following this mantra in every situation. And now that my contract with Marie is coming to a close, I’ve started looking for the next opportunity. Last week on Wednesday I did a boatload of upper limit work to detangle my beliefs about my worth and abundance and my earning capabilities because I knew if I was going to level up in my next position, I had to be mentally ready to embrace it.
On Thursday morning I got an email.
Not directly to my inbox, but in my rollup (I use Unroll.me to keep my inbox cleaned up). Now, I love having a rollup to combine 40 emails into one email, but I don’t read it every day.
So for whatever reason, I opened up my rollup that day and as it turns out, another woman I admire - as much as Marie - is hiring! And not only is she hiring, but it’s a full-time position in a new area (that I’d been considering moving to for months) and everything she teaches is in line with what I love learning about! She helps women just like I want to, and the opportunity to learn and grow with her wouldn’t just help me level up as a human being and entrepreneur, it would be like rocket fuel for my life.
I fit the job description SO well… it’s like it was written for me.
The potential for long-term growth is exactly what I’m looking for.
The projects this woman has released, the topics she talks about and the books she’s written are the foundation of my self-care and most of my habits.
I’ve loved every minute of working for Marie and serving her people, and this would be another step in the right direction!
So yesterday I applied to a new job. And then I said “this or something better” and sent my order in to the restaurant of the Universe.
I’ll let you know how it goes — the Universe hasn’t let me down yet!