Superwoman
/In my last post I wrote about having grace for myself as a high-performer, and how sometimes slowing down and doing “nothing” or relaxing is challenging for me.
My goal in restarting this blog was to write every day, and then Thursday happened.
I had a Murphy’s Law day.
Just in case you’re not familiar, I mean that everything that could go wrong — did.
I had to take my dog to the vet and the vet made not one, but FOUR mistakes that made the whole process take much longer than necessary. I’m patient overall, so if this hadn’t been part of an entire day filled with unusually annoying and inconvenient circumstances, it wouldn’t have even bothered me.
Then, my car broke down. I was supposed to go to the vet, get groceries and to print some time-sensitive documents because my printer was out of ink… But good luck doing that without a car!
When I went to get my documents printed, they printed them on labels — LABELS. So I had to wait for them to wrap another print job before they could reprint mine.
Oy. Vey.
So needless to say, by the time I finally got home, no food in the house, sick puppy and meds in tow, and the correctly printed documents, I had a whole lot of NOTHING left for getting on my computer — let alone writing something cohesive!
Yesterday, with a headache from a restless (hungry) night I got my 3 time-sensitives to do's done from my list on Thursday and looked at this blog, yawning before I could even think about writing.
And then I realized… This is that grace period.
There’s no pressure but my own here to write every day, so what’s the real issue here? Why do I feel so grumpy about not writing for the last two days?
Why do I feel like I need to be superwoman?
I don’t have all the answers, but I do know that being an ambitious, high-performing empath with body issues, food sensitivities, ADHD and anxiety means that sometimes life — and Murphy’s Law — gets to be too much. I know that even without all my quirks, life is MF-ing HARD sometimes, so finally, after 30 years on this planet, I’m committed to living one day at a time.
I’m committed to learning how to have compassion for myself, and even though I’m sure I’ll talk about it a lot more — and the answers I find to the questions I posed above — I’ll still be taking it one day at a time.